


The Reverse Santa Claus

by Graveyard



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Bickering, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Insults, Mischief, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 21:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graveyard/pseuds/Graveyard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas is the season for giving and sharing...but no one told Skywarp that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Reverse Santa Claus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taiyari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taiyari/gifts).



> Sorry I'm getting this in at the last minute, and well past holiday season. This fic is a secret santa gift for Taiyari, courtesy of the Transformers Gift Exchange 2014. Taiyari is a fabulous member of our Transformers community, and a truly fantastic artist. Wishing you all the best, Taiyari, through 2015 and beyond! Enjoy!

Thundercracker sat down with a grateful sigh and propped his feet up on the makeshift footstool he'd scraped together out of some empty energon cubes and one of Starscream's capes. He reclined back in his rickety chair like it was a luxurious throne, arms dwarfing the spindly armrests and the whole thing creaking alarmingly under his weight.

"That's better," he groaned, fishing around in his subspace. He procured half a ration and an old datapad, which he switched on to the same old story he'd read thirty times. It wasn't even a good story--some try-hard action book about an up-and-coming member of the Primal Vanguard--but it was what he had in his subspace when he departed Cybertron, and he still wasn't desperate enough to read Earth literature yet. He had just taken a sip of the energon and settled in to read the climatic final chapter--less climatic the thirty-first time around--when suddenly there was a horrible popping noise in the air like a firework and Skywarp landed on top of him.

The chair gave out, sending them both crashing to the floor. Thundercracker cursed as Skywarp's foot came down sharply on his hand and the datapad, smashing the only piece of Cybertronian entertainment he had left. The pain and the rage gave him focus, and Thundercracker shoved hard at Skywarp, sending him straight into the footrest with an alarmed shriek. Energon cubes burst free of the cape and skittered across the floor, adding to the symphony of destruction all around them.

"Look what you've done!" Thundercracker yelled, curling his hands into fists, then-- "Ow, look what you've done!" He cupped his hand protectively as it started to give off sparks. "What is your malfunction?" He growled, face twisted with anger and pain. He struggled to his feet, clutching his hand protectively to his chest. "You got something against me having a little peace and quiet? Huh?" He didn't wait for an answer and instead turned and stormed out of the room. Behind him he heard Skywarp scramble to his feet and start to follow, but he ignored him.

"Starscream," Thundercracker growled, throwing open the door to his trinemate's lab, "fix me." He showed off his twitching and sparking hand, to which Starscream had nothing but a look of resentment.

"What the frag did you do this ti--oh." Skywarp trotted into the room behind Thundercracker, starting up a chant of "TC! Hey TC! TC! Look at this! TC!" The look that passed between Thundercracker and Starscream was one of mutual suffering, and Starscream's expression melted into something more sympathetic. He pushed aside the gadget he had been working on and motioned to Thundercracker to come over. Thundercracker sat down on the bench next to Starscream and carefully lay his injured hand on the table, wincing as Starscream began to prod him with a sharp tool.

"TC! You didn't look! TC! Hey!"

"We're ignoring you," Starscream growled, but Skywarp wouldn't let up. He plopped himself on the bench next to them and shoved something square and shiny into Starscream's workspace. Starscream snarled at him and shoved it off onto the floor, but Skywarp picked it up and put it back again.

"Look."

"Fine, I'm looking," Thundercracker snapped, snatching it off the table with his good hand so Starscream could get to work. He peered down at it, suddenly confused about what he was holding. It crinkled under his fingers, a shimmering pale gold wrapped up in a silver ribbon, with an excessively curly bow set on top. He frowned at it, perplexed, but as he felt the edges he realized he was only looking at the packaging. Whatever was in it was hidden underneath a layer of gold foil for reasons unknown. Perhaps it was dangerous? He nearly dropped it instinctively, but then a small tag caught his optic. Against his better judgment he leaned in to get a closer look. There, written in elegant Cybertronian, was a small note:

 

_For my dearest friend Hound. Love, Mirage._

 

Thundercracker burst out laughing, though it was cut off with a gasp of pain as Starscream jabbed him a little too hard with his tool. He quieted down to soft snickers, and passed the package back a pleased-looking Skywarp.

“Good?” Skywarp grinned.

“Not bad,” Thundercracker conceded. “Though it wasn't worth stomping on my hand over.” He gave his trinemate a pointed look.

“Musta miscalculated my teleport,” Skywarp said, cheerfully devoid of any real regret. “Oh well. Still funny, right?”

“What _is_ so funny?” Starscream growled suddenly. “I _was_ trying to do work here until you two burst in, you know.”

“Oh, uh,” Thundercracker and Skywarp exchanged guilty looks. “Skywarp swiped some courting gift or something from the Autobot spy.” Suddenly his expression fell. That didn't sound as good when he said it aloud. Starscream seemed to come to the same conclusion.

“Wait, let me get this straight...” Starscream set his tools down and rose to his feet. “You took a package from an Autobot spy. Brought it into the base. And into my lab!?” His face twisted into one of fury as his voice rose to a shrill screech. “And you never once thought that it could be dangerous? Perhaps a bomb? Are you both glitching or are you naturally that stupid?!” He hopped the bench and began putting as much distance between himself and the mystery parcel as possible. Thundercracker followed, tossing a paranoid glance to the strange flat package as he began to creep away carefully. Skywarp remained unconvinced, still turning the object over in his hands, looking vaguely confused.

“Skywarp,” Thundercracker hissed, ducking behind a table. “Get over here! It could be dangerous!”

“I don't think so...” Skywarp said slowly. “Why would Mirage give Hound something dangerous?”

“Because it's a trap!” Starscream screeched, scrambling at the door. “Put it down, or better yet, teleport it somewhere safe! Like back where you found it!”

“But it was sitting outside the Autobot base. I don't think the Autobots would bomb their own base.” Skywarp seemed a little unsure of this, but he brightened as an idea struck him. “I know! I'll open it and see what it is!”

“Don't--” Thundercracker started, but it was too late. Skywarp eagerly peeled back the foil and grabbed whatever he found inside. He frowned for a moment, but then his expression lifted as he pulled it out.

“The Big Picture Animal Book!” he declared, holding it up. Sure enough, it looked like an overly large human book. It was almost the size of a Cybertronian datapad, and as Skywarp flipped through it he revealed a colourful collection of photographs featuring Earth's various lifeforms: four-legged, feathered, and finned. Thundercracker crept closer, curious, though Starscream remained standing with one hand on the door controls, ready to flee at a moment's notice.

“Interesting,” Thundercracker said, taking it carefully from Skywarp. It seemed harmless enough, and so he began flipping through the pages, reading the captions aloud as he went. “Madagascar moon moth. Clouded leopard. African pygmy falcon. Hm, none of these pages say 'bomb',” Thundercracker pointed out sarcastically. Starscream scoffed, but he finally took his hand off the door controls. “Looks like an ordinary courting gift to me,” he shrugged, “you want to finish fixing me up now?”

“You want to cut the sass?” Starscream sneered, “Or would you rather ask the Constructicons to fix you up?”

“Ugh, no thanks.” Thundercracker flopped back down on the work bench, shaking his helm. “I already have to ask them to fix up a chair. And a datapad, though I think it's a lost cause.” He cast a reproachful look at Skywarp, but he was too busy flipping through the book to notice. Glossy photo after glossy photo was revealed, each more spectacular and exotic than the last. There was one thing about Earth, at least: it did have a wide array of habitats with which to support all kinds of unusual lifeforms. Thundercracker felt a small chill at some of the weird, slimy ones, though the feathered and furry ones seemed okay. Skywarp eventually reached the last page and he closed the book with a satisfied sigh. For all of thirty seconds he was quiet, mulling over the contents of the book, then at last he spoke.

“I wonder what the rest of them are.”

“The rest of them?” Starscream snapped. “What are you going on about now? The rest of _what?_ ” He shot a worried look at Thundercracker, who returned his concern. Skywarp, on the other hand, was cheerfully oblivious as always.

“The rest of the packages! There was a whole pile outside the Autobot base, underneath a big tree with lights in it for some reason. Oh, and a pointy thing on top. It was kind of weird.” Thundercracker and Starscream's troubled looks didn't ease at all as Skywarp spoke. In fact, they only grew worse. A few gestures passed between them, each increasingly frantic, until at last Thundercracker coughed the static from his vocoder and said carefully:

“Probably all boring Earth stuff. You wouldn't really find it interesting. Let's just leave the Autobot base alone, okay?” But Skywarp was jumping up now, thrusting the book at TC.

“Here, to replace the datapad I broke! I'm going to find something for Starscream next!” And he disappeared before either of them could stop him. Starscream and Thundercracker stared blankly at the spot where he just was, hoping against hope that he'd change his mind and come back, but all was still. Eventually Thundercracker slowly raised his hand.

“You gonna finish?”

“Fine,” Starscream snapped. “But watch me closely, because _you're_ going to be the one to fix up Skywarp when he scraps himself.”

Thundercracker wasn't looking forward to that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the requested "seekers being silly." There may be more antics to come in the event that I write future chapters, but for now I'm going to let this stand alone. I think Skywarp's gotten up to quite enough mischief for one day. :) He may be back again in the future though, so watch out!


End file.
